"Everytime someone orders another salad, a little part of me dies inside." --Nate at practice, in reference to the Soup Salad Breadsticks promotion at Olive Garden.

"Wait why would anyone say suck my ass because it doesn't smell" --Nate in a wildly out of control conversation about GG Allen.

"You know what's awesome?....Nicotine gum." --Nate, right after setting up his bass rig for practice.

"Lois is hot!" --Nate, showing his admiration of Lois Griffin during a discussion of hot female actors.

"You know what I think? I think Lord Calvert was so rich that he made his whisky and sold it for practically nothing. He's that kind of guy." --Joe, as he polished off a bottle of Lord Calvert in the van at a show

"I-I-I think I should invest in-in a beer company soon uuh because in-in-in bad uh e-economic times people need beer the-uh most."-Joe

"Isn't every day a gay day in prison?" --Joe

"I don't know if I want someone in the band who takes 4 hits of acid and is 'alright.'" --Josh

"I ate Thai food once. I actually shit blood." --Skreech

"That's the Suburban I'm staying in right now. How do you like THAT?!" --Nate, in conversation with a bum

"I got like 20 fuckin indian burns on my arms...and they're all from real indians!" --Josh

"In the entire world, how many people do you think are getting their faces shit on right now? 10? 20? I'll bet its a lot." --Josh