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Ha ha ha! Dandee is a fictional person. I've seen him up close, and he's just burlap sacks filled with oatmeal, controlled by puppeteers through radio waves. It's all a conspiracy, man! Wake up!
I could get an anonymous account. It's not worth the trouble though, because I don't think anything I have to say is so important that it must get out at all costs. It seems like a lot of work to do something that isn't making my point or winning me friends.
I'm not worried about what I think, but more whether or not people get it. I pretty much think I'm right on every subject*, but with all the equivocating, inferring, implying, misunderstanding, framing and focusing, bullshit, etc. People only seem to read the bad parts of what I have to say, and then nitpick it apart. Which, honestly, is what I'm doing too. By talking about the entrance fee for Hyperactive, how cheap I am, and the fact that I don't know if fees represent the talent pool accurately**, I look like I'm taking some "anti-festival" stance, and that just isn't true***. It would be different if I thought it really was important, but... who cares? I do think Emergenza is a rip-off, but what do I gain by saying it? Nothing: it just pisses people off. I'm not afraid of that, maybe a bit bored of it, but it's got to have some reason. I don't want to be seen as one of those people who talks just to hear himself. That is only true when I am drunk.
Like any "creative" person, I'd really rather be known for my work (music, pictures writing) and not my opinions. My work is almost totally based on my aesthetics, and not on politics or feelings or any of that shit anyway. Since I am using my legal name, and representing my band, I have to be aware of how this might be obscuring my "message" (or more likely placing a message in my mouth where there is none). My main goal here of course is promotion of my band and networking. For example, I'd much rather be talking about our awesome show this coming Friday with The Bellmont, Supergiant, and Below the Sound. Fun has to take a second seat if I think it's harming other things I consider more fun, like the local scene****.
I just come to Rocksquawk to talk. I can "express myself" any number of other ways. I come here to shoot the shit. I underestimated the publicness of the forums though. I mean, Google indexes this shit. The last thing I want is someone typing my band's name into a search engine and getting some Jon Liber thread. The fact that everything is up in print for eternity kinda takes the fun out of just talking shit. Also, it's different crowd than when I started coming here. Someone coming into the middle is going to get the wrong idea about me and about Rocksquawk.
People take it all too hard (I've been guilty of it too). It seems like real discussion always becomes argument pretty fast. I don't have as hot a head as a lot of others do, but I push back when challenged, I do. Yeah, I got a little offended when hooks2u got on the Hyperactive thread, because it felt accusatory, felt like blaming bands for their problems, felt like a bit of a mock at how poor we are, felt outside of the band experience as I know it, felt beyond the point. Of course, it's likely that Hooks meant no more harm than any of us did in our statements. She had no way of knowing that that's a touchy issue for me (and others). It's hard to interpret shit from typing, especially when dealing with typists of widely varying skill or message board experience. So I tried to rephrase my position but I think came off defensive, put too much emphasis on one piece of my point. I think we are really all on the same side. It's frustrating: Trying to explain something here to a perfectly intellegent person is like trying walk against the wind. You push harder than you'd like to*****.
Anyway, I'm not leaving or anything, just stepping back for a bit. Making some room. If I think it's important I'll say my bit (if I can make my point consise). And I'm not afraid of my opinion. If anyone wants it, ask me directly. I meant the apology for all of it, and I'm not too big to admit I am wrong (or just not up to the task of explaining how I think I'm right).
Levi Eleven (I AM real)
* I'm not an authority, but I think I'm pretty reasoned. I'm more careful with decisions than with statements. ** I still think that's true. Nothing is perfect though, it doesn't make the positive aspects of the fest. less positive. *** Pro-festival. Really. **** Boring, yeah. Bummer. I've been here for a long time and it is less fun when people get hurt feelings, which seems to happen more and more. ***** I really doubt this is one of the worst things you've read. If that's the case, and it really is that important, then I think it makes my point of needing to back off. It's just a message board.
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