I couldn't figure out why I was such an asshole today. Then I remembered that I quit smoking. I wasn't even thinking about smoking. I haven't in days. This is the first time I ever quit anything where the psychological addiction went away before the physical. So I think it might stick this time. I BETTER SING BETTER AFTER THIS OR I'M GONNA CUT YOU, YOU UGLY FUCKER. Or at least I hope I don't get winded just by playing and standing still... YOU UGLY FUCKER.

Being an asshole doesn't cause cancer, does it?

After I quit, I know that I sang better, but more importantly, it was easier to breathe, which meant that I had more than enough energy to keep up for the entire show.

How'd you do it? Cold turkey, or the patch or what? I took Welbutrin, which worked like a charm, but quitting the welbutrin caused crazy panic attacks that manifested over the smallest things.

Sometimes I miss smoking. Smoking really is cool, despite what anybody says.

I was doing the patch, and then I got really sick and forgot it. The withdrawl got all mixed up with the cold and I just went through. I'm still congested and hacking and shit, but I don't know if it's the cold still or what. I really don't think about smoking, which is a first because yeah, I did like it. I thought about smoking during a cigarette, that's how much I liked it. It is cool.

My body still wants something though; I have that need feeling. I remember now that smoking stopped my obsessive-compulsive streak. I'm getting a lot done. I've had a couple of panic attacks, but I had those before during the smoking (during weed too...) so I can handle them: I just dump that energy into the obsessive thing (if I don't sort this laundry, my baby will get cancer!) I'm getting a lot done. It helps me to project it onto something else, so that it becomes "righteous anger" and luckily enough there's a lot of smug speeches on TV today. If anyone sees the president's head explode for no reason, it is because of my focused hate.

I feel like a bit of an ass even bringing it up, because I've quit before and then what kind of cock do I look like after? Last year Toph and Rexx and Lori and a bunch of us tried to quit at once, and we did great for more than a month. Then one person caved and we all went right away. I cheated back then though, I was on this "one a day only" rule, which is like the worst of both.

Sometimes cocaine helps. Just a suggestion.

Quitting powders was a lot easier, because I just slept and ate. That's a good way to pass the time in any situation.
Naw, from now on it's just pills and liquids for me, thanks.

Yeah, it has to be the easiest substance to quit. After that first night's sleep and that first meal you realize: Hey . . . I haven't done this in a looooooong time.

I went onto this stop-smoking website.
It said with the amount I haven't smoked, I will live an extra 22 hours!
Take that, smokers!
Those last 22 hours in the nursing home will be so sweet.
...Assuming I'm not laying in a pool of my own piss.

Maybe someone else's piss, which I'm sure will be social acceptable in that future enlightened time. A magical age of wonders, where gay people are considered square, and robot overlords force us to oil parts of them sometimes.