got 2 pulled teeth and a drainage hole....

as sung by beck to the tune of "where its at"

so yeah...last week a bad tooth went to worse over the weekend. wife had a birthday shindig on monday so i drank the soreness away. come tuesday evening the fucking tooth went south fast. my jaw grew the size of a large orange stuffed under skin. with no insurance i contemplated going to unmh. FUCK THAT!!! with only limited funds i called several dentists found one close by that was reasonable. i went and she did prelim eval. she was ready to pull the dern thing right there for only a couple hundred dollars walkin fee included until.....

i told her i had cancer when i was 13 and they shot large doses of radiation through my jaw...

she procedes to flip out in a calm manner saying she needed to consult an oral surgeon all the while throwing 30 dollar word at me that i coulndt even pronounce much less spell. got sent home with a bottle of penicillin.
she calls me the naxt day and sends me for a consultation with the oral doc...oh yeah i payed 75 dollars to get sent home with a bottle pills...

so the oral dick/doc was very nice and explained everything to me because of the radiation this needs to be a very sensitive procedure and then said we should pull a bad wisdom that was going south as well while hes in there...well after haggling over cost, which i'll get to later, i figured out you cant haggle
over teeth.

well i get dosed and im numb...some delicate procedure!!!!...that fucker was rootin around my mouth like a lawyer who lost his wedding band in a hookers vagina!!!! tore me 3 new holes in my mouth cause he needed to drain all the fliuds in my jaw and jaw bone...ther was little pain but more of the way he was diggin away...had to have his assistant hold me down cause he was so brutal(think he kinda liked it by the evil grin that he wore).

well after all is said and done my bill came out to be a little less than 9mutherfuckinghundred dollars for 2 extractions and a drainage hole sewn into my jaw...the damn procedure was less than two hours from walk in to sigining the credit card...fuck me to tears...my ass hurts more than my jaw from the screwing i got...

kids...brush and floss yer teeth daily and dont smoke crack or meth...and especially dont get cancer when you are 13 years old...and always...always take a bottle of lube when you go to the dentist!!!!

O.o

Broke my collar bone snowboarding a few years back and had to get a plate screwed into it. It was an hour and a half procedure and that one set me back 18 thousand dollars. Not to mention the anesthesiologist tried to bill me and the hospital for the same service which the hospital in turn forwards their bill on to me. My recovery wasn't quick either. A ten inch incision in the chest is about like taking a bullet to the chest not to mention the broken clavicle has to heal as well. I hear Gordy has has had a medical situation to which mine would pale in comparison. Month and a half and I was shiny with a pretty good scar. Piece of cake.

That sucks I often think that if something serious happens to my health, I'll just throw in the towel. I can't aford this capitalist system of healthcare. Of course that's easy to say now.

Yikes! Hang in there. My best story is a 4 hour, novacaine-free nightmare at the welfare dentist, but it doesn't compare so I'll skip it. I'm so glad I have dental insurance- I get $1500 a year of work covered, and only need $9000 done, so in about 6 years I should be all set! The dentist who takes my insurance doesn't give presciption painkillers though...

Oh! Here's one: when I got my vasectomy last week the novacaine again didn't work- no "_caine" works well on me, sadly- so I was just trying to grin and bear it. But they use an electric cauterizing knife, and because of the pain I was sweating so hard the grounding strip didn't work, and I got a really nice ball-shock, which caused me to leap backwards while my junk was all cut open, making the clamps hanging from my tubes flap around all crazy. The doc couldn't believe it because he'd given me three times the dose. Good times!

quote:

Originally posted by captain of industry:


Oh! Here's one: when I got my vasectomy last week the novacaine again didn't work- no "_caine" works well on me, sadly- so I was just trying to grin and bear it. But they use an electric cauterizing knife, and because of the pain I was sweating so hard the grounding strip didn't work, and I got a really nice ball-shock, which caused me to leap backwards while my junk was all cut open, making the clamps hanging from my tubes flap around all crazy. The doc couldn't believe it because he'd given me three times the dose. Good times!

holy shit... ummm.... I thought the 32 stitches I had to get in my face was rough... fuck that. I hope to never have my nards worked on... by a doctor that is.

quote:

Originally posted by huh?:
I can't aford this capitalist system of healthcare.

Capitalist? If Wal-Mart were in the dentistry business, I somehow suspect it would cost less, and people would be crying about how all the poor dentists are getting screwed by the megacorps' hard bargaining. I smell government.

fuck the government!

quote:

and always...always take a bottle of lube when you go to the dentist!!!!

heh. I missed that little gem first time around.

Anyway, hope yer feeling better. I've presently got a bum tooth that'll probably need a root canal soon, but my insurance doesn't cover most of it.

Reminds me of the definition of fear: waking up from the nitrous as the dentist is putting his pants back on. Blessed is them without dental pathology. Cursed are the rest of us.