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"bong donor." Is it just me, or is this the funniest phrase ever written? It sounds dirty and stupid and even kind of formal at the same time. C'mon: say it out loud a few times- Pure gold! Now say it as if it were lyrics from a reggae song... I'll wait.... Nice! I want to start a band called Bong Donor now. I bet if I were stoned or drunk it'd be even funnier, especially if I were drunk enough to slur/mangle the words. I could totally see "dong boner" happening in that case. When I die, I want to be soft-stuffed like a beanbag chair. Then people could shake me until all the beans end up in one extremity, leaving me with elephantitus of the bean bag and a floppy empty head. Second choice: bearskin rug. |
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What happened to my campaign? |
That is pure Gold! |
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when i die i don't care what happens to me because i'll be dead
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Totally reasonable. No matter what happens it'll probably be disrespectful anyway. Anyone read the book Stiff by Mary Roach? Hilarious and terrifying. If you donate your body to science: they can use you to test landmines, or have plastic surgeons practice on you. If you are cremated: you may just end up in a landfill or pollute the enviroment! |
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i want a norse funeral. nothing cooler than being pushed out on a boat as archers fire flaming arrows at it.
that is all ryan |
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Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, leader of the Russian Revolution, only wanted a simple burial, but it was not to be. After his death on 21 January 1924, so many mourners were delayed by the bitter winter weather that the Soviet leaders ordered that Lenin's body be embalmed temporarily so that the 'masses' could pay their respects.
Weeks later, the queues of mourners were as long as ever, and Joseph Stalin, Lenin's successor, set up a Committee for the Immortalisation of Lenin's Memory. For four months, biochemist Boris Zbarsky and anatomist Vladimir Vorobiov worked night and day to preserve the body so that it looked as it had done in life. Ever since, Lenin's body has been checked twice a week for deterioration. Every 18 months it is taken to a laboratory beneath its mausoleum to be undressed, examined and immersed in preserving chemicals. Nowadays, Moscow's 'mausoleumists' earn most of their money by preserving the bodies of dead mafia bosses.  |
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ok that's kind of cool... and creepy.
that is all ryan |
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jukebox hero |
Did I say anything about religion? I didn't, artist formerly known as Roswell Rocker. I just didn't find it funny or interesting. But like I said, to each his own. Kinda the same way I don't find jokes about handicapped people or minorities funny. Just my tastes, that's all. I'm not losing any sleep over this. |
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What happened to my campaign? |
I am glad to hear your life will remain healthy despite our online conversations. The religious comment was for my own amusement although after reflecting I should have said ChurchPerch. Roswell Rocker is my husband, thank you I will let him know you mentioned him. He became frustrated with the squawkafarians and decided to give me reigns over the computer and handling our 2.3245 cents of knowledge. I think that everyone should laugh at everything as it pertains to race, religion, disabilities, inabilities, lack of facility, virility, insecurities and small dwarfs. The main problem with this race is that everyone has so much ego about their beliefs that they kill each other for it. A little humor about ourselves may go a long way into us finally letting go of our delusions of self importance. I have to go finish my new bong made from the skull of my last cat...lung capacity isn't what it used to be.  What |
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Paisley flamingo nightlight.
Captain Caveman |
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Exactly |
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I hope I die in my appartment and no one discovers me for a couple weeks, so my cats will be well fed.
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What happened to my campaign? |
HUH? What |
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That happened to a friend of mine. I was over his house with his roomate drinking. We thought something in the trash was going bad. |
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Cats will not hesitate to eat you dead ass. Dogs are a little more respectful. |
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True, dat.
Just ask Layne Staley. Captain Caveman |
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There is that Nick Lowe song about Marie Prevost, the old hollywood actress who died in her apatment and her dog ate her arms.
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drinker/slacker extraordinaire |
my cat would actually eat me alive if wasnt paying attention...i wasnt paying attention one night...kept licking my pinky finger...thought he was just showing love...nope...lil fucker was softening my flesh so that when he bit down he would actually get to the meat...and thats what he did 1st bite...chomped down and pulled...LIL ASSHOLE!!!
"the quickest way to a mans heart is through his penis" - tammy faye bakker |
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This is so cool that it makes me want to cry. These kids are (or should be) heroes to all of us. And as far as the dead kid or his parents and family go: fuck 'em! If they don't get the joke we should make bongs out of their skulls too!
Harry / U7d |
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Poor Webby . . . getting shit on for no reason again, eh? Man this place is uptight . . . I had the mistaken assumption that musicians tended to be cool. This posting board is always proving me wrong. So why did aNewMan get killed off? I guess you've figured out by now that that was a mistake. Oh, well. Say hi to "eatshitanddie." As usual, he can be very cordial and friendly, but when people fuck with him he can be a real asshole. Serioulsy, I thought things were cool. I came on this site because I had some cool "list" ideas that I was going to post b/c a lot of people around here like lists (me included). And then I find out I got shit on! As you know, I LIKE to get shit on but I can't resist bringing the Golden Rule full circle in turn. Now the evil has once again been unleashed. My God - when will it ever end? |
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) and create a smoking apparatus out of it making me a great conversation point at awkward dinners. What an honor considering my lifestyle choices. This leads to a greater question instead of digging graves and taking our land up with dead bodies should we use the bones of the dead for something I don't know, useful??? 
. Plant trees and food in those fertile lands, quit digging graves. We need food. If these kids had killed this person, then sat there and ate his insides and made a bong out of him that would obviously be a very different story. Why do we honor the dead so much when we can't even honor our living? That guy had been gone for almost one hundred years, he is on to bigger and better things. I think its a funny story and is rock n' roll, punk, goth, clssic-al, New Age and Harp-tastic. 