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I had a transformative experience Sunday night which forced me to reevaluate my life. As a result, I have decided to offer a sincere apology for abusing the Rocksquawk posting boards for my own amusement. You've got a great thing going here and it's way uncool of me to crash your party just because I can. I thought being a troll would be fun and would provide some perverse fun for others. I can clearly see now that this isn't the case. If this world of ours has any hope for the future, it lies in each of us taking personal responsibility for his or her actions. So, I'm sorry.
In case any of you are interested, I'd like to share with you what caused my recent change of heart. Yes, this is a true story, like everything I've typed here (except for a few things, like me being gay and having an elongated anus). I honestly swear that this really happened to me. This weekend I decided to get drunk, but I underestimated the half-life potency of the Anabuse I've been taking. Sunday afternoon I got myself some Rumpys and went home to get wasted where I proceeded to slam several shots (I've never been one to nurse alcohol). After about twenty seconds, I felt weak and extremely hot as if I was immediately overcome with a severe case of the flu. I was having a very hard time breathing and then I passed out. I would be dead today if my next door neighbor hadn't heard me fall. She called 911 and thankfully an ambulance came right away. I found out later that I was in complete resperatory failure. Miraculously I have survived without any damage so they released me this morning. While I was unconscious, I had an incredible Near Death Experience (NDE). Immediately after I passed out, I felt as if I was floating. It was like I was travelling through white clouds (I know, this sounds cliche, but it's what happened). These coulds formed a sort of tunnel. I felt like I was travelling through this tunnel forever. It felt like time didn't exist. Eventually I found myself on a plain. It was sort of a formless greyish desert. There were no horizons, the desert seemed to just melt into muddy clouds. I felt engulfed in a profound feeling of emptiness. At this point I felt nothing except a sort of detached feeling of guilt for feeling only nothingness. After what seemed like days, I noticed these strange beings were looking at me. They were basically like people - I felt they were like people, but they didn't really have any shape. They told me to go with them, so we began walking. They were all around me and it seemed like more of them appeared the further we went. Our surroundings grew darker as we kept walking. We seemed to sink into this muddy darkness that turned purple and then black. Then the creatures began uttering ugly things I couldn't understand. I started to feel utter despair. The creatures started poking me and picking at my skin and grew increasingly oppressive and violent. They made the most horrible sounds and I felt they they were going to pick me apart. I slid to the ground and curled into a ball. They were screaming at me and it felt like they were tearing my flesh apart. Then, out of sheer desperation, I called out to God. I screamed something like, "God help me!" The beings told me to shut up and they continued to pick at me but they got weaker. So I kept yelling "God! God!" The creatures spat at me and cursed me, but they started to fade away as this glorious light came into view and seemed to flood my whole body, inside and out. Then I experienced the same thing that many others who have had NDEs have claimed. The light was brighter than anything I had ever seen but it didn't hurt my eyes. I knew I was in the presence of God or whatever you call him. He told me that my life on earth was not finished. He also told me some other things that I will keep to myself. I still feel the same way I've always felt about man-made deity-based religion. But now I know there really is a Higher Power, a beautiful life force of love and that life has a supreme meaning and purpose beyond what anyone on earth can fully comprehend. I know now that my full potential as a person is inside me and I just have to learn how to let him out. I won't be bothering you any more. Again, I'm sorry for any hurt feelings I may have caused. May each of you know peace and love. I mean that sincerely. - Rich |
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Jah love!!
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I love cops!![]() ![]() |
Ever seen the movie "Rockers"? Its right up your alley. "I and I know what. I and I know that not even the dog that piss upon the wall of Babylon shall escape judgement, for I and I know that the youth shall witness the day that Babylon shall FALL." - Horsemouth |
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Ever see "countryman" ... one of the best movies ever!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Rich, Thanks man, I appreciate and accept your apology. I hope you stay true to your word because your posts are really, really, really fucking annoying.
That said, I actually think that you are a talented writer and you should use those talents in a positive way. By the way ... those creatures that were poking you ... that was US, and all the other people that you've annoyed with your trolling. Take care of yourself bro |
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all that nicey, nice stuff said, we've heard this all before... both here and on alibi.com NOW SHUT UP AND GO AWAY THEN! |
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I love that movie! |
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I love cops!![]() ![]() |
Which Rich are you? Dude, stop confusing me!
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So after all those niceties and positive contributions, the moderators decide to turn around once again and ban me. Either they actually prefer to be at war with me or they are plain stupid as fuck. They definitely seem too stupid to understand it takes all of two minutes to conjure up a new identity. Maybe they are just so full of hate for me that they have a deep-seated NEED to ban me if only for a few minutes (in which case they would clearly benefit from learning how to forgive and forget). Or maybe they want me to know that they're not buying my (obviously) bullshit story about having an NDE and being transformed into a new person by it. Whatever the case - congratufuckinglations. You killed aNewMan - my Mr. Nice Guy - and I'm more than happy to re-assume my role as the most annoying, hated and dreaded internet troll in Albuquerque, and it's all because of you.
Actually, I feel much better now! Thanx fer sharin'! See you on the flipside, yo! - Rich |
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Stick Slinger![]() ![]() |
Whatever makes you feel good...
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Autobots, roll out.![]() ![]() |
Hey at least this troll keeps it interesting. Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?Do you guys remember the early days of message boards when you had this kind of troll?
Tool and Chief |
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Awesome! What else did God (or whatever you called him) say? Please share!
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