My wife just called to inform me that she's leaving... Why? I don't know but she's leaving and that sucks.

Leaving the marriage? Leaving the house? Did she tell you face to face, or was it a phone call/e-mail? You gonna be alright? Seems like you have a decent support system. Plus the Air Force can provide you with someone to talk to and hash stuff out with---right?

Sorry to hear. As someone with a couple of ex wives and g-friends, I can sympathize. The loss of familiarity can be a shock at first. Stick with the certainties....your job, your music and a trusted friend and/or beloved pet.

And never underestimate the power of going off the deep end on a major bender. Totally acceptable in these sort of circumstances.

Hang tough Geoff...

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Leaving the marriage?

Yup

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Leaving the house?

Yup

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Did she tell you face to face, or was it a phone call/e-mail?

Phone

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You gonna be alright?

Depressed but fine.

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Seems like you have a decent support system. Plus the Air Force can provide you with someone to talk to and hash stuff out with---right?

Yah it has it's perks.

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Stick with the certainties....your job, your music and a trusted friend and/or beloved pet.

You bet your ass I will stick to the music/band.

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And never underestimate the power of going off the deep end on a major bender.

If I wasn't so broke I would this weekend but it'll have to wait till the 15th...

That's shitty, bro. Stick with the band. We're here if you need.

Breaking up by phone is weak. A reflection on her charactor, not yours. The depression thing is part of the deal. It sucks, it's confusing and it hurts. But it's an opportunity to experience some emotions, albeit heavy and for the most part, unwanted. But as ghey as it may sound, it will give you greater insight and strength when all the dust has settled. Also keep in mind that New Mexico is a communal property State. That means, amongst other things, that she can be eligable to half your retirement, for the years you were married. If you were married somewhere else, or plan on the divorce taking place somewhere else, that might not be the case. Get ahold of someone like a lawyer (or the Air Force equivelant) to get that stuff straight. Try and keep your emotions in check during any of the law stuff/negotiations. That can be the most difficult aspect of a divorce. But the law has no sentimentality, so suck it up for those times, or you will be fleeced by the ex and the law talkin' dudes.

Also consider headin' out to the shooting range. You could probably find some potential "targets" around the house now.

Stay strong.

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Also consider headin' out to the shooting range. You could probably find some potential "targets" around the house now.

Oh there's a few.

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Breaking up by phone is weak. A reflection on her charactor, not yours. The depression thing is part of the deal. It sucks, it's confusing and it hurts. But it's an opportunity to experience some emotions, albeit heavy and for the most part, unwanted. But as ghey as it may sound, it will give you greater insight and strength when all the dust has settled. Also keep in mind that New Mexico is a communal property State. That means, amongst other things, that she can be eligable to half your retirement, for the years you were married. If you were married somewhere else, or plan on the divorce taking place somewhere else, that might not be the case. Get ahold of someone like a lawyer (or the Air Force equivelant) to get that stuff straight. Try and keep your emotions in check during any of the law stuff/negotiations. That can be the most difficult aspect of a divorce. But the law has no sentimentality, so suck it up for those times, or you will be fleeced by the ex and the law talkin' dudes.

Thanks for the advice man. Truly man thanks.

Hey--us dumped dudes need to stick together. Sharing info and experiences make this dark period pass quicker. Like Mike said, we're here bro.

Word.

Man that does suck Geoff. I feel your pain. Most of us have been there, It takes time, but you'll get through it. Try to look at the positive aspects of the situation. Pain builds character, you're an important part of the music community here in Albuquerque and you're in a kick-ass band. Very few people get to experience the bond that forms between band members. It can be like a second family. Like Black and Mike said, we're here. Seriously, if you need anything, let us know.

She thinks I cheated on her... WTF

and...

"i wish i could tell you something or do something to you to make you feel like shit as much as you have made me feel that way the past couple of years." I don't know where the fuck this came from... I guess she doesn't like being treated with love and respect.

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Originally posted by Winterlocked Geoff:
... I guess she doesn't like being treated with love and respect.

For the most part, they never do. And the accusations sound a bit like guilt to me. Chances are, if she doesn't have a job and/or outside interests or friends, she grew jelous and resentful that you had the nerve to not only have a "life', but live it as well.

Dames....go figure...

Bogus. Totally sorry to hear about this.

Hang in there, bro, and I'll ditto what Animal said - anything you need, man.

Well I went home and talked to her face to face and we decided to go to marriage counseling first and then decide from there. Also I made it known that I would never cheat on her and so that is settled. I guess we'll see what the counsellor can do...

Oh and thanks for all of the support guys. It really means a lot to me.

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A reflection on her charactor, not yours.

Black speaks the truth.

Stay true to yourself and throw yourself into music...it's like built-in therapy. You'll be okay. You always were a centered guy. This, too, shall pass.

Chris